I
recently read Lean In by Sheryl
Sandberg and was surprised I enjoyed it as much as I did. Before reading this
book I, shamefully, fell into a group of people that cringe at the word
feminist. Sandberg notes that there is a tendency to shy away from being
labeled a feminist because of the “negative caricature of a bra-burning,
humorless, man-hating” person (473). I was afraid this book would be too
preachy, but it was honest, down-to-earth and entirely relatable. Lean In doesn’t just deal with the
empowerment of women. Instead, it offers a lot of leadership and professional
advice – for both men and women.
There
were three things in particular I found interesting regarding Sandberg’s
commentary on women in the workforce. A report from Hewlett-Packard showed that
“women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the
criteria listed. Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the
requirements” (207). Therefore, women need to shift from thinking, “’I’m not
ready to do that’ to thinking ‘I want to do that – and I’ll learn by doing it’”
(207). While applying for jobs my senior year of college I ran into this
situation. There were many jobs in which I did not fit all of the requirements
and I remember one of my male friends telling me to apply for it anyway. When I saw the requirements I did not think ‘I
am not ready to do that.’ I was hesitant to apply because I respond to straightforward
directions and don’t like to play games. If an employer takes the time to think
of specific requirements for a position, my instinct is to respect that and not
waste his or her time, but if other equally “unqualified” people are applying
for these jobs -- and may very well get them -- I am putting myself at a
disadvantage. This is a dilemma I am sure to come across again as I look for
jobs after my time as LC.
The
second point I found interesting was that the correlation of success and
likeability differ for men and women -- “When a man is successful, he is liked
by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like
her less” (130). Of course there are exceptions, but it is important to be
aware of this tendency – both in you and in others.
Thirdly,
women tend to plan too far ahead when it comes to starting a family. They pass
up job opportunities that may require more hours or frequent travel thinking
they are putting themselves in a better position to start a family… someday. Some
women do this before they even have a boyfriend – let alone a husband. Sandberg
says that, “the months and years leading up to having children are not the time
to lean back, but the critical time to lean in” (315). I’m glad I read Lean In because when I come to that
point in my life, I will make a conscious effort to lean in and not limit
myself before it is necessary.
Professional
& Leadership Advice
There
was also a lot of professional and leadership advice to be taken from Lean In. One piece of advice when finding
a job is to focus less on career levels and more on fast growth and the
company’s mission. Sandberg points out
that even if you are accepting a lower level position, you might actually be
moving forward because you are happier and have an opportunity to learn new
skills (202).
Her
second piece of advice deals with “learning to withstand criticism” and she
notes that, “we should let ourselves react emotionally and feel whatever anger
or sadness being criticized evokes for us. And then we should quickly move on”
(164). Some people are better at it than others, but I think everyone
experiences some level of hurt when they are criticized. Admittedly, I
sometimes struggle with criticism. It is not because I think I am infallible or
because I don’t respect or agree with my criticizer. It’s because I
subconsciously link criticism to not being liked. Mark Zuckerberg told Sheryl
Sandberg that “[her] desire to be liked by everyone would hold [her] back”
(169). I preoccupy myself with wanting to please others and be liked in return when
I should take criticism as is and choose to either accept it and adapt or to not.
Similarly, my decisions and behaviors should
be less concerned with my personal relationship with others and more concerned
with my relationship with others insofar as it helps the progress of the
organization’s mission and my job responsibilities. Hopefully the personal
relationships will follow.
Lastly,
Sandberg suggests a method of setting professional goals. There is a pressure
many college graduates feel to have everything figured out and to know what
they want to do with the next four or so decades of their life. Sandberg did
not get to be COO of Facebook by some carefully crafted plan, so she recommends
two flexible goals, “a long-term dream and an eighteen-month plan” (176). Further,
the “long-term dream does not have to be realistic or even specific” (182). My
long-term dream is to help people and to have the autonomy to do so in ways I
think are best. One of my current ideas to accomplish that is to spread multimedia
education to several countries by starting a business – the details of which
are not fully worked out and wouldn’t be divulged on a blog regardless. My
eighteen-month plan is to do my best as Leadership Consultant by inspiring and
empowering as many Alpha Delta Pi sisters as I can to help their chapters grow,
have fun along the way, learn from my mistakes, and apply for jobs towards the
end of my term. I plan to get a job in event planning for fundraisers or non-profit
campaign management.
I
highly suggest both males and females read
Lean In because there is something in it for everyone.
To learn more about leaning in, “Like” the “
Lean In” page on
Facebook.
*Page numbers based on the eBook
